Like the wheel that was first conceptualized around 6,000 years ago in Lower Mesopotamia, some culinary creations are just so classic, they don't need reinventing. The phrase “we don’t need to recreate the wheel” applies fittingly to the world of gastronomy. There are iconic dishes that have stood the test of time, yet it seems like everybody today wants to give their own unique spin on them.

A typical example is the Bloody Mary, the vodka and tomato juice concoction that miraculously transforms a spirit into a socially acceptable 10:30 AM beverage. However, in recent times, a considerable number of eateries seem to be going overboard with their interpretations of this brunch staple. A simple stalk of celery, the traditional companion to the cocktail, has been replaced with an excessive assortment of vegetables.

The embellishments didn't stop at vegetables, though. A garnishing trend started innocently with a shrimp, then two and subsequently, a whole lobster tail hanging off the side of the glass. Next came the bacon, which quickly escalated to a bacon double cheeseburger teetering on the rim of the glass. Consequently, a reasonably priced drink that was once enjoyed alongside an omelet has transformed into a pricy, high-caloric meal substitute. One hopes that amid all this gimmickry, the original Bloody Mary remains readily available.

Next, let's consider lasagna, the fiercely protected legacy of Italian cuisine. A raw vegan eatery I'd visited served a pale imitation of the hearty dish – thin slices of zucchini and squash standing in for pasta sheets, with cashew cheese and a tomato puree replacing the traditional rich cheese and meat sauce. This served-cold, lasagna doppelgänger tasted nothing like the original and should’ve been titled differently – the Cold Layered Vegetable Salad with Nuts and Nutritional Yeast, perhaps? Let the lasagna live in its original glory, please!

Lastly, let's address the trend of "deconstruction". A Caesar salad, I believe, should arrive at the table complete, not as separate ingredients on trays, awaiting assembly by the diner who might already be exhausted from assembling Ikea furniture. A variation I can accept would be replacing romaine with kale perhaps, but beyond that, deconstruction sure seems like an extreme twist on a classic dish.

So, call me a traditionalist, but please stop labeling cold piles of vegetables “lasagna”. Not all things need a modern reinvention.